Many “year-round” schools opened their doors again this week, and traditional calendar schools are gearing up for next month’s opening. I had the opportunity to visit a couple of those year-rounders on opening day, and in all the excitement and sparkling newness, there were also some scenes that weren’t very pleasant.
There was one little girl, new to the school, who wailed the entire time I was there. I tried to soothe her, kneeling beside her and dabbing her face with a tissue, but she was not to be consoled. Soon her wailing escalated to shrieking, and she grabbed her “Welcome to First Grade” worksheet and ripped it to bits. As a teacher, I was immediately aware that there was more going on than “I miss my mommy.” But the scenario did get me thinking: how can we better prepare our kids for the beginning of school?
I think there is one strategy that is the most important when preparing our children for a return to school: information overload. It is helpful to be totally transparent to ensure kids aren’t afraid of the “unknown.”
Talk about School
Try to work school into the conversation every day during the summer break. Ask kids what they think their new classroom/teacher will be like, what the room will look like, and what they’re most excited about (or nervous about). I talked to a student last week who was acting uncharacteristically silly; after some probing she admitted that she was scared about the next day, her first day in a new school. Since I was so excited for her to be moving to this really great school, I assumed she was excited, too, and never thought to ask. We need to be sure we actually talk to kids of all ages to see how they feel about the transition from summer break to school.
Visit the School
Okay, I’ve been that teacher trying to arrange my classroom and hang decorations during those last few workdays before school starts who has looked up to see a parent and child standing in the doorway: “We can’t come to Open House. Can we just meet you now?” I’m not recommending this practice for every parent. Schools would never be ready to open! However, if your child is attending a new school – or is starting kindergarten, I do recommend that you visit often, even if “visiting” just means riding by the school. Last summer, before my granddaughter entered kindergarten, we basically stalked the school building. We didn’t go in until Open House night, but we rode by, and around, the school numerous times. We looked at the playground, the bus parking lot, and the picture of the school mascot in front of the school…we looked, we talked, we got acquainted with the school. By the time school started, it was our school. We were comfy. And if you do have a conflict with Meet the Teacher night, be sure to email or call and try to schedule another time to come in. It’s important to get kids in those classrooms briefly before you have to leave them there on the first day.
Speak Positively
I have to constantly remind myself that my six-year-old granddaughter now understands most things she hears me say (we’ve had stimulating conversations about breastfeeding after a friend had a new baby last week). So keep this in mind when the summer letter from the school announcing the teacher and the supply list comes home. If it’s not the teacher you hoped for, or if the supply list looks more like items the school should supply instead of parents, be sure listening ears don’t hear your negativity. Not only will their opinions be shaped by your remarks and reactions, but most children will happily report back to the teacher anything they’ve heard: “Well, my mom said that she wanted me to have Miss So-and-So and not you.” Yikes. Try to keep it positive unless something really serious is going on in the classroom that requires an intervention from higher authority.
Make It A Celebration
There’s a reason Back to School shopping is a holiday in itself. You don’t have to spend a fortune to get your child excited about picking up a few school supplies or a new lunchbox. Whether your budget calls for designer sneakers or a trip to a “nearly new” shop, plan the day as an adventure and be sure your child has the opportunity to proudly show off any purchases to family members and friends. Take pictures on the first day, and embrace the child inside you who used to be excited for the start of school. That excitement will surely rub off on your child!
Happy new school year, and remember, it’ll be summer again before you know it!
